El Roi - The God Who Sees Me

May 2

El Roi - The God Who Sees Me Episode 2

This episode is an introduction to the first of several names of God. God is one Sovereign God, but His many Names help describe God’s many characteristics. Today we learn about El Roi - The God Who Sees Me. Oftentimes we can feel invisible, unseen by our loved ones, our friends, and now social media makes us feel invisible! But God sees you! No matter if you are rich or poor, skinny or chubby, a geek or an athlete, God sees YOU!!! He Loves you and He wants you to know Who He IS, not what you may have been taught by religious laws, this world, or someone who doesn’t even know God themselves. Come meet some bible heroes who made some pretty dysfunctional choices on their journey and be introduced to El Roi - The God Who Sees Me, You, All of us!

Diana’s Notes

There is nothing in our lives that escapes God. He knows everything about us, from the very last breath we will take in this world, to the very creation of our being; when He knitted us in our mother’s womb.

Psalms 139:13 says: You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Another translation reads: You created every part of me; You put me together in my mother’s womb.

Today, I would like to share with you one of God’s many names. There is only One, True Sovereign God, but the many names of God help us understand the character of Who He is; loving, merciful, kind, gracious, faithful…

I would like to talk about El-Roi, The God Who Sees Me.

You are not a mistake. You are a Designer original - crafted by the Master Himself. The God of the universe, and He sees you! He knows the most delicate, intimate, deeply personal details about you that no one else knows or sees. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Personally, I have struggled with an identity crisis for most of my life. I have been tormented with feelings of rejection, being unwanted, a mistake, a burden.

As young children we look to our parents for love, acceptance, assurance, safety, security; but oftentimes I believe our parents themselves are struggling with feelings of inadequacy, confusion, past rejections and wounds that have never healed from their own childhood.

From generation to generation, “hand me down” garments of rejection, abuse, fear, anxieties, addictions get passed along. We wake up each morning and pick out our clothes of unworthiness and shame.

We fixate on our own self-worth, our identity. Who am I, does anyone see me, does anyone care, and why am I even here? We can feel meaningless, invisible; we stare and scroll through social media and it “seems” everyone has a perfect, happy life except for us.

Today, if you are willing to turn your face, your heart, towards God - El-Roi; I believe you will begin to discover - just like I eventually did (eventually because I am stubborn and a slow learner; well slow learner because I am stubborn!) LOL; that He does see you. He has always seen you just like Psalms 139:13 tells us. He longs to be your Father, your good Father Who wants to love you and bring comfort to you. He is always God. Sovereign. Just. Creator of the universe, whether or not we acknowledge Him does not change that truth, and somewhere deep inside of you even though you may have never personally acknowledged Him, I believe you know that it is true.

In fact, Ecclesiastes 3:11 says: He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

He has set eternity in our hearts and that is why without Him, we are never satisfied. The things of this world will always fall short of everything He has for you.

I don’t know for sure the exact moment I became afraid or insecure, but the earliest I remember was when my family moved from a nice suburb of Detroit to a country farmhouse 2 hours away in the middle of nowhere. I was five years old and I was very close to my oldest sister, in fact, I am pretty sure I thought she was my mom. LOL

But she had just graduated from high school and was really excited to start her new life. I, however, was not so excited. I did not want to stay in this strange new scary house without her and I was not too confident that my mom was all that excited to be left to attend to me either. My brothers and sisters were older, and I felt in the way, a nuisance at best. Whether it was true or not, I felt like everyone blamed me for being ripped apart from their school and all their friends to nowhereland. Even my mom gave up her job to be a housewife to 3 teenages left in the house and a five year old that was not supposed to be. After my brother was born the doctors told my parents that they would not be able to have anymore children, and then surprise - there was me! My mom called me her little virus.

Now, before we go any further, I love my mom very much; as an adult. They say you love life forward and understand it backwards, and for me that statement is true; sad, but true. Growing up I did not understand my mom at all. As a child I did not know my mom grew up in a very harsh home. My grandparents struggled financially. In the late 20’s and 30’s I would imagine a lot of homes struggled. Grandma and Grandpa were not “feelsy” types of people. Grandpa was a blacksmith and farmer and Grandma would dress chickens, make butter and sold eggs in town to help supplement their income. In their house, you worked and pulled your weight. My mom was raised to be a worker, more like a hired-hand. Oftentimes, most of the time, my mom and her siblings were lent out to other farmers, neighbors, friends and family to pick cotton, work fields, prepare meals; everything but just be silly kids. My Grandma saw laughing as foolishness, and there was no time for foolishness. So, with that upbringing, my mom was not all that affectionate. Growing up, I was never told bedtime stories, tucked into bed; I didn’t celebrate my birthday or get hugs and kisses. I was not told or demonstrated love. Of course, as an adult, I now know my mom loved me, but as a small child growing up, I was convinced that I was not wanted at all; that there was something wrong with me.

My dad to me was a mystery man. During this time he worked as a conductor for the railroad and was still based out of Detroit. Between the runs he made as a contracted worker and the commute back and forth from Detroit to the farm, I rarely saw my dad. I really didn’t know him, and I can’t speak of his relationship with my brothers and sisters since they spent more time with him prior to the move, but to me, when I did get to see him; he was kind and gentle. My dad had a very deep voice, but he never raised it to me. I had a HUGE crush on my dad! LOL I would write “ I love you” across his face on photos of him! I’m sure it drove my mom crazy!!

So between my dad being away from home most of the time and my mom not being tender, warmhearted, or doting over her children, and feeling like I ruined everything for my brothers and sisters still at home: I felt unwanted, unloved, and mostly I just felt in the way.

My best friends became the dogs and cats, the chickens and ducks. I stayed to myself a lot and just tried to stay out of the way.

Life can feel hard, harsh, cruel and unbearable sometimes. Families can seem dysfunctional, leaving deep wounds and imprints on our hearts.

If you are feeling frustrated, angry, sad, alone, depressed, depleted, unloveable, unworthy, stressed out and plain worn out and you just can’t see a future for yourself. You’ve lost hope and you are convinced that you do not matter to anyone and you walk this world unseen; let me tell you right now and assure you from my own personal experience of meeting the God Who sees me, El-Roi; He sees you too!

Hold tight in knowing that you are His Original design. There is no one else like you, because He created you to be unique. You are not weird, wired wrong, a mistake. God designed you exactly the way he wanted you. You know, people pay a lot of money for a designer purse, a custom made outfit or car; limited editions are highly valued, but these are all things that end up in a junk drawer, a junk room, a junk yard one day. And yet the world makes us feel inadequate, unacceptable, of no worth or value if we are not some cookie cut pattern of one another.

And don’t ever think that if you have lived a life of scandal or embarrassment, that you’ve made choices and mistakes that you’d rather bury away deep inside where no one will ever see; don’t believe for one more second that it is too late for you to turn your life around and have everything God purposed and intended for you.

Reality TV has nothing on the people from the Bible. There were so many great heroes God worked through to accomplish amazing, miraculous things, and every one of them were flawed!

Their sin and their shame was no surprise to God and there is not one single thing you have ever done or will ever do that will surprise Him or be too much for Him. Remember, He has already seen every single one of your days from the very beginning to the very end.

An example of a great man of faith, a popular Bible hero is the story of Abraham and Sarah. But before they were Abraham and Sarah, they were known as Abram and Sari.

In chapter 12 of Genesis, God made a promise to Abram.

Genesis 12:1-3

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.

I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,

and whoever curses you I will curse;

and all peoples on earth

will be blessed through you.”

Now, Abram shared this promise with his wife, Sari, but God’s promise was not immediately fulfilled. Later on when Abram and Sari became better known as Abraham and Sarah, God did fulfill His promise and gave them a son Issac; but before Issac was born, months went by and then years went by. And before God would fulfill that promise, Sari became impatient waiting on God and decided to take matters into her own hands and she schemed her own plan, a very, very dysfunctional, bad plan.

Let’s pick up and read from God’s word about this crazy, wacky plan she came up with and then we can chat a little more on the other side.

Genesis 16:1-4

Now Sari, Abrams’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar, so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.”
(see where problems are beginning???)

Abram agreed to what Sari said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sari his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

(Do you see a problem here, or am I the only one seeing how horrible of an idea this is!! These are not teenagers, or even young adults! Now, you would think that all three of them would have known this was just a horrible idea! At least Abram or Hagar the maidservant should have.

Abram was like 85 years old! So I guess we shouldn’t feel too stupid or duped if we make poor decisions at 15, 25, 35, shoot even 50! According to this insane craziness, 85 might be the new 15. LOL!! Kidding! Maybe we can learn to be wiser. )

So, let’s continue reading in verse 5

When she (Hagar) knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.

(Surprise, surprise!)

Then Sari said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me. “

(This just cracks me up! See, how dysfunctional we all can be when we focus on ourselves.

So, Sari gets tired of waiting on God, and she comes up with this ridiculous plan. Her husband and maidservant go along with it, even though they should have said no, it was Sari who came up with it. And just like we often do, we make a bad decision, a choice that bites us in the rear; we get wounded, and then we blame everyone else around us, including God. We verbally abuse people, and maybe physically , all because we caused our own frustration and pain. We turn our back on God and give Him a cold shoulder and convince ourselves that He doesn’t really care, or maybe that He doesn’t even exist.

So after Sari has a mental breakdown and goes after Abram, he replies back to her in verse 6:)

“Your servant is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think is best.” Then Sari mistreated Hagar, so she fled from her.

(So Hagar runs away after being mistreated, and we pick up in verse 7:)

The angel of the LORD found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. And he said, “Hagar, servant of Sari, where have you come from and where are you going?” I’m running away from my mistress Sari,” she answered.

(Hagar was a maidservant, considered to be a nobody. Maybe Hagar agreed to sleep with Abram to please Sari, to make her happy. Maybe she slept with Abram thinking her status, her position would change and that she would be elevated to the same adoration that Sari had. Maybe she thought people would finally see her because she had always felt invisible, unworthy. Whatever Hagar was hoping for, it turned out really wrong, and she fled. Even though Hagar may have been a nobody to everyone else, she wasn’t a nobody to God. He called her by name.

Now God knew exactly what was going on, but sometimes we just need to stop and have a chat, a conversation with God. He has big shoulders, He already knows all the chaos and destruction going on. We are not hiding anything from Him just because we don’t include Him in the journey.

But when Hagar stopped running and had a conversation, when she got out of her own head and emotions, she was able to see God. Let’s pick up in verse 13:)

She gave this name to the LORD Who spoke to her: “You are the God Who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One Who sees me.”

She recognized even though she felt used, mistreated, a fool, stupid, rejected, God saw her and He had a plan for her. ( He spoke of this plan in verses 9-12)

God will take all of our wrongs and make them right, but we have to include Him. We have to stop running, stop making emotional, feeling choices, and we have to stop controlling and trying to be the one in charge and learn what His plan is.

That was a very hard lesson for me to learn. I was lost, wandering around in the wilderness of chaos and confusion for decades because I stopped trusting God and turned towards pleasing people and remaining in my head.

God will not be maneuvered, manipulated, rushed, hurried or alter His will to fit our impatience and lack of understanding. He is much more interested in us learning to trust in Him then caving into our tantrums. My life was nearly destroyed because I so desperately wanted to feel loved, accepted, normal.

But rather than turning towards the ONE Who created me, the ONE Who already sees me and knows me by name, I turned away from God and turned towards people, and the world’s version of love.

I am a living testimony that if you find yourself on the same path now, STOP! Please!

Turn towards God and save yourself even more heartbreak and more disappointment. You will not find or understand true love, real love, until you first come to know the God Who sees you, God- El Roi. Remember, He has seen you before you were knitted and formed in your mother’s womb.

Did Hagar’s circumstances change? No, at least not right then and there. What changed for her? She stopped running. She saw God, because she came to realize that he first saw her.

Your circumstances don’t have to change first either. God sees you right now, but you must open your eyes, open your heart to see Him.

Hagar learned that even in all the dysfunction, God saw her and He deeply cared about her.

I had to learn that God sees me, and you too can learn that God sees you.

Psalms 121:3 says:

He will not let your foot slip, He Who watches over you will not slumber;

God is not asleep at the wheel of your life. Perhaps He is simply waiting for you to stop running and turn towards Him.

I don’t know if you can relate to Abram, Sari, or Hagar. I can tell you that I have not been a slave, but I have been enslaved to the desire, the hope, the dream of being loved and to feel accepted.

Like Hagar, I have given myself to men in hopes of feeling loved, cherished, adored.

Like Sari, I have been impatient and believed God kept me from my dreams and hopes and desires. And like my mom, because of the wounds of my childhood, I was not the mom I envisioned myself to be when I had my own children. I have failed in many areas and on many occasions throughout my life, because the lens that I saw through was dimmed and altered from personal rejection, fears, and frustrations. But through it all, God never took His eye off me.

Is my life perfect now? No, pain, no disappointment, no problems. No, of course not! I am learning every day to trust in God more and more.

God never promised a life with no problems or complications. In fact, Jesus Himself tells us in John 16:33

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here, on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”

We don’t ever escape the worries of this world, but when we entrust our lives to the God Who sees us, He will strengthen us with His peace, His joy, His love; and that will enable us and equip us to get through to the other side.

This I can promise you, since I have learned this one truth - this one thing, that God sees me,even when no one else does. That God loves me, little ole me. When I learned that He is always watching over me and when I made up my mind to stop running and turn towards Him, He was there! He was always there ready to embrace me and comfort me.

I eventually found peace, joy, and acceptance of myself. I am happy and satisfied just being me. I am not afraid of rejection anymore.

There are no circumstances in your life that go unnoticed or unseen by Him. God knows everything that troubles us and He cares deeply!

Father,

Even though I have given You so many reasons not to love me, not one of them shocked You or made You lose Your love for me. Right now I pray for every person reading this today, that each one of them will discover Your unwavering , unconditional and eternal love for them as well.

I pray this in the Mighty Name of Jesus. Amen

Thirst Quenchers

Songs to Inspire You

Thank God I Do - Lauren Daigle

Lauren Daigle - Thank God I Do (Official Music Video)

Resurrecting - Elevation Worship

Resurrecting | Live | Elevation Worship

The Blessing by Kari Jobe

Kari Jobe, Cody Carnes - The Blessing (Live At The Belonging Co, Nashville, TN/2020)

Scriptures from this Week's Podcast

Psalms 139:13: You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Genesis 12:1-3

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.

I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you,

and whoever curses you I will curse;

and all peoples on earth

will be blessed through you.”

Genesis 16:1-7

When she (Hagar) knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.

“Your servant is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think is best.” Then Sari mistreated Hagar, so she fled from her.

Genesis 16:13

She gave this name to the LORD Who spoke to her: “You are the God Who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One Who sees me.”

Psalms 121:3:

He will not let your foot slip, He Who watches over you will not slumber;

Jeremiah 29:11 - “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Better Way

Peace for the mind - Remember to include God

This week when you are feeling overwhelmed, unseen. When you just feel icky inside and stressed out or impatience is creeping in. Stop. Don’t do anything until you take a deep breath and ask God to show You he sees you. Ask Him to reveal His love for you in a special way that you know only He would know because it's a quiet thing between the two of you.

For me, I know this might sound a little weird to some, but when I am feeling super invisible or just down in my soul, a Hawk usually appears. Sitting on a pole, or flying over a field. But it is something personal between me and the LORD and I “look” for Him now. God often will speak to us through His creation, animals, water, mountains, scenic views and yes other people. If someone unexpectedly compliments you or encourages you, that is a little wink from God that His eye is always on you.

A little humor

For all you coffee drinkers out there like me!

How do we know that God loves coffee like we do??

Because the Bible says He-brews!!

(Hebrews is an actual book in the Bible, just in case you didn’t know) LOL!!

Selomon Closson