Jehovah YHWH - Rapha - The LORD My Healer
In life each one of us will face hardships, struggles and heartaches because that is a part of life. But the experience of it and how we process or handle it will be different because we are all unique. We can empathize with each other, but no one will know the actual pain you feel and for Diana there was such sadness in being all alone in what she was going through. But there is ONE. Come and discover the ONE Who knows. Also, in this episode, Diana prepares to share with listeners the most grievous, heart-shredding, fatal shock of her life.
Diana’s Notes
I am so grateful you are taking the time to listen today! The next couple of episodes are going to probably be the hardest for me. In fact, I really didn’t want to talk about this at all, because it is still a path I am having to walk through with God and it is a slow recovery process, but I have learned what it means to have joy, rest, peace and comfort even while on the path to wholeness. I'm going to do my very best not to cry, but I can’t promise you anything because this is about my 10th attempt to make it through. So, with that said, here we go.
Jesus came to heal us from the very things that break us, steal from us, take life away from us. He came to restore us. He came to reinstate our relationship with God because Adam and Eve were deceived into believing they could be equal to God, their Creator. It is and always has been God’s desire that we be well, whole, complete. But we live in a fallen world, it is not God’s design, but rather a consequence of sin entering into the world.
I didn’t know God is Love, I didn’t know God was my Healer. I didn’t really get or understand the whole relationship thing. I used to tell Jesus that I loved Him, but I needed something, someone I could physically touch. That He was invisible, and I couldn’t feel Him, but I would not tell you that now! Now I know His Presence! I know He is Present! Always present
Psalms 139:7 - “where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your Presence?”
The English Standard Version of God’s Word tells us in
Psalm 46:1 - God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
This should bring us comfort, but if we are hiding from God, it might cause stress within our inner self - that we might not yet have identified- as a reason we feel overwhelmed from circumstances, people, just life in general. At least that is how it was in my life. I tried to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient. And when I messed up, I didn’t want to feel like a burden to someone else. I lived a roller-coaster life of emotional struggles.
Jesus said in Matthew 28:20 - “And behold, I AM always with you, to the end of the age” Jesus never intended for us to live life and do life without Him.
During the time Jimmy and I were in the custody battle for our daughter and after the incident of him trying to kill me by shooting me in the head ( which we talked about in last week’s episode Jehovah Shalom), besides the custody battle, we had just completed pre-trial and we had moved on to trial for the attempted shooting when my life was changed and I spent almost 40 years of feeling immense guilt and pain because God left me to live.
My soul went from being wounded to turmoil, shock, and unbearable grief! So unbearable that I willed myself to never know joy or happiness again. My heart, mind, body, soul and spirit were in agony. How do you describe the agony of having to face what you do not want to face?
Today, during our time together, I would love for you to meet my Beloved - Jehovah Rapha - I AM the LORD your Physician - The Lord Who Heals.
I needed both. I need a physician who could mend my broken heart and then once it started beating again, be able to heal it enough for it to keep wanting to beat on its own. There is only ONE Who is able to save your life eternally and heal your brokenness from this broken world and that is Jesus our Savior, our Messiah. The Healer and Restorer of Life
Jeus tells us in Luke 5:31 and 32
“Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but to those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
God Himself said in Exodus 15:26…
I AM Jehovah Rapha. I AM the LORD your Physician
Jesus didn’t want me to pretend I was perfect and without any fault. To act like I had it all together throughout my life. He did not expect me to be perfect, that is what religion tries to weigh us down with, the false presumption that we are supposed to have it all together on our own. When Jesus made that statement in Luke 5, He was addressing religious leaders who were complaining to the disciples that Jesus hung out with scum. Not religious rule followers like them.
In Luke like we read a minute ago, Jesus came to be a healer for the spiritually lost, but Jesus also came to bring good news, to heal the brokenhearted, to set those of us who struggle, He came so we could be free from whatever keeps us in chains. Isaiah 61:1 says:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed and commissioned me TO bring good news to the humble and afflicted: He has sent me to bind up (the wounds) of the brokenhearted, to proclaim release (from confinement and condemnation) to the physical and spiritual captives AND freedom to prisoners,
Matthew tells us Jesus cares spiritually and for our souls by mending our hearts, but He also cares about us physically.
Matthew 21:14: The blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them.
Me and Jimmy had been separated for about 6 months and I was the closing shift manager at a convenience gas station in a small local town. My son had gone to spend the weekend at his paternal grandparents (which he never did, he was four), but out of the blue they called and asked if they could have him. And I am so grateful to God and His mercy that they did make that call on that day. Coincidence? No! God’s mercy and a supernatural intervention by His outstretched hand, a miracle. Love in action! God knew the loss of both would destroy me, His love for me saved my son. Now, my son has a beautiful family, and I am so grateful to God for all of their lives.
So, I took my 2-year-old daughter to the babysitters. Very nice couple who were so loving and so fantastic to my kids! Anyway, she was at their home, and I went to work. I closed at midnight, but earlier in the evening I had received a phone call from someone that wanted to date but I was kind of in a messy situation (obviously, if you have been following the episodes) and I didn’t want to tell a person, especially a guy I barely knew - so I just tried to blow him off with very subtle hints. You know, too busy, working, things with the kids, etc. We did go out a couple of times, because I don’t know how to say NO! , “it’s nice to know you but I’m not in a position to date now.” (Back then I didn’t know how to have healthy boundaries, or that it was even okay to have them. but I hated making people feel bad or rejected, I just had a hard time hurting people because my own personal rejection and shame clouded my vision. My ability to see the Truth.
In fact, this is sad and funny all at the same time to me! When my kids were older, still in the home but older, my youngest son told me one day, “mom, you know, just because you date someone doesn’t mean you have to marry them.” LOL
I stood in embarrassment for a second because my child was giving advice to me that was more grounded than most of the adults I knew.
I failed miserably as a mom, but in my flaws, I did want my kids to have a better life than me and know that boundaries were good.
But I did not know how to implement them into my own life. And here my son gave my heart a kickstart into receiving a message of healthy boundaries and it actually brought a little healing to my soul because he said it with such grace and love. (even though he may not have known it or probably even remembers the conversation). But it has stayed with me since then. Correction with grace. And that is how God teaches us. He gently corrects, He never condemns us.
Anyways, I knew this guy's sister and we were friends. One night he called me on the phone and asked if I could stop by after work. He needed a friend to talk to. I explained that I had my daughter, and it would be very late when I closed, way past her bedtime. But he insisted he was struggling and really needed someone to talk to. Apparently, he and his father had a pretty bad, physical fight or could have been a fight. Anyway, lacking the ability to have healthy boundaries, meaning it was not only okay for me to insist on the answer being no, but it was very irresponsible. Even as a young mom, I knew that, but in not wanting to hurt his feelings, I agreed to come over after I picked my daughter up.
Without meaning harm and just natural human desire and instinct, this person’s need was more in the physical nature than in the communications. You know, chit chat.
I became quite upset and pretty angry because I felt stupid and irresponsible keeping my 2-year-old out past midnight believing I was consoling someone, and it turns out to be nothing like that. Now, mind you he had no idea what was going on in my life at that time.
I took my daughter who was sleeping on the couch and put her in the car. It was very late, and she was tired and did not want to go into a car seat. Feeling so guilty about having her out like that, I got in the car and let her lay her little head in my lap and I gently stroked her hair as she fell back to sleep. It was early fall and a little cool, so I turned the heat on and started our drive out to the country, back to mom and dad’s about maybe 15 miles.
During this period of time, I had just started participating in a bible study and desiring to get my life back on the right track, for me and for my two young children. I knew I needed God’s help and I wanted to earn His love. I wanted to know how to please Him so that He would love me. I knew God was Sovereign. I knew He could change any circumstance, any situation He wanted to. I knew some Old Testament stories and I believed that anything God did then, He could do now. I had faith, faith was not my problem, my weakness was in my relationship with Him and that I really didn’t know the character of God. His MO. His method of operating and I thought in order to improve my worth to God, I had to figure out what “works” I could do and what behaviors of mine that I could modify, shift, change. What could I do to make Him happy so that He would like me. If I worked hard enough, He would know I was serious. I didn’t know that when I received Jesus, God was already my Father.
The motive of my heart was in error. I was seeking God because I wanted to figure out how I could manipulate my behavior to give Him what He wanted so that He would lift off His heavy hand against me. Because of abuse, I saw God as abusive, controlling, angry. Not the Spirit of Love. In fact, for most of my life I didn’t really believe in love. Like actual, genuine, love. I thought it was a word like any other word. But I wanted to believe in love, I longed to feel loved.
And even though I was so confused in my own identity, I knew there was a God. I had no doubt of the subject of God’s existence, but I was very confused and very wrong about the nature of God. Who is LOVE
I had absolute FAITH, TRUST, CONFIDENCE in GOD that He was God - Period. The God of the Old Testament, the Old Covenant, before Jesus. I never heard a word about GRACE or MERCY and absolutely NO WORD on the Helper Jesus gave, the HOLY SPIRIT, but I knew somewhere deep in me there was more to God then I was being told, taught. I had a different vision of Who I believed Him to be, not the harsh, hard, punishing God, the One my pastor at that time described or taught on.
Where it came from, I’m not 100% sure. It wasn’t taught to me in my church. I believe the only possible source was around the 5th grade. I participated in a program at that time called Rural Bible Missions, and my mom allowed me to be picked up during school time to go to a place where they taught the Good News of Jesus Christ. I can’t tell you the lessons, I can remember the pastor's name was Rev Baird and he made a tremendous impact on my life. I believe it was that year that my spirit latched onto the stories and messages and scriptures that were way different than what I learned on Sundays and Wednesday nights at my church. I loved listening to the Parables of Jesus even though I did not understand them at all, they still brought me peace and hope for something better than what I knew, and I think that is what kept my spirit beating for me when I had given up.
The words at my church seemed mean, angry, bitter, full of wrath and bad temper from God, but Rev Baird spoke of Jesus, His love, forgiveness and acceptance. I felt good there. I felt God did love me when I went there. I was confused by two different teachings, but my spirit recognized the truth and desired it, but my mind, experiences and teaching opposite to that were stronger than my faith. My foundation was not sturdy at all.
Because I did not know or understand that Jesus was supposed to be my Foundation, my Cornerstone. If I had developed a deep, personal, intimate relationship with my Savior, I would have known I already had everything I needed. There was nothing I could do or needed to do to earn His love. He could not love me any more than He already did. But my faith was built on the pillars or religious rules and checkmarks, not on the Blood of Jesus. To be very frank, I know why a lot of people think Christians are fake. When we are trained up under religion, we become hard, harsh, bitter, intolerant because that is what the religious laws teach. Oppressive rules of dos and don’ts. And with that type of teaching our spirits grow weary and we give up on life because it's just too hard. We die to the very LIFE God has for us and we don’t even know it.
God tells us that His people perish from knowledge, knowledge of what? God. His Nature, the way He operates. His very plan for humanity.
Hosea 4:6 in the New Living Translation
My people are being destroyed because they don’t know Me.
My foundation was not secure because I was not being discipled into understanding God and His Kingdom laws and principles. And because my relationship with Jesus was more like a vending machine of “please help me prayers”, then a loving, real relationship and partnership, when it came time for me to walk through the hardest, most unstable period of my life, the structure of my faith fell, and it fell hard.
I didn’t know El Roi, the God Who Sees Me, I didn’t know Jehovah Shalom, I didn't know Jehovah The Lord My Shepherd, and I had not yet met Jehovah Rapha the LORD my Physician
But even though I struggled for myself and believed I was unacceptable in God’s sight, I had no fear for my daughter. I was at complete peace because I fully surrendered the outcome to God, believing and trusting He was Fair and Just. Sovereign. My mom thought I was reckless, foolish, uncaring because I was so calm before going to court for either case.
But something deep within me knew that God had everything in control. Plus there was no way a kind God would allow a little child to be tortured, taken away from the very innocence of life. I knew God had the power, but I did not take into account the fallen world, that bad things happen EVEN to “good” people, even to people who did trust God and were living right before Him. Sometimes bad things happen to even the most innocent, and we are left with bitter tears and such anguish in our souls. Our very spirit mourns and grieves and longs for healing and restoration.
I thought I trusted God. But what I was trusting was my plan. What I expected God would do. I only saw one possible outcome. But God knew I was going to need Him more than ever. I thought He betrayed me, but instead He was faithful and loving to me for decades before I truly loved Him back.
There is only ONE, who is able to fully and completely understand our personal brokenness. We may all go through similar trials, suffering, loss, fears, anxieties, but each one of the hardships, struggles and heartache will be unique in the experience of it because we are all unique. We can empathize but there is ONE Who suffered just as you suffered because He took everything you would ever go through in your life, and He said YES. I will pay for that. When Jesus surrendered His life on the cross for each person, He took on ALL the SIN of every single person. There is not a false charge on the blood of Jesus' account. He knows what you and I will ever do from the beginning of our life until the very end and He said Yes, I see what the cost is and I love them that much!
God Himself tells us in Isaiah that there is no one like Him
Isaiah 46:9-10 - “Remember the former things (which I did) from ages past; For I AM God, and there is no one else; I Am God, and there is no one like ME, Declaring the end and the result of the beginning.”
Not only does God declare the end from the beginning, but like He said, there is no one else. He tells us in Revelation that HE IS the beginning and end, the Alpha and the Omega
Revelation 22:12 in the AMP Bible says:
“Behold, I (Jesus) am coming quickly, and MY reward is with Me, to give to each one according to the merit of his deeds(earthly works, faithfulness).
Revelation 22:13 goes on with Jesus saying…
I Am the ALpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End (the Eternal One)
So Jesus came to save us from a spiritual death and give us a new birth (salvation), That is true. God does not desire anyone to be separated from Him and spend eternity in Hell.
John 3:17 in the English Standard Version tell us:
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.
Might be- that means God has done His part, He provided the way through the sacrifice of His Holy Son, and each one of us must make a personal choice to believe or not.
But Jesus didn’t come only to give us spiritual life in heaven, but for here and now. For the battles we will face here on earth. He also allowed His body to be beaten, broken and surrendered His very last breath so that we could be healed. Physically healed, spiritually healed, mentally healed, emotionally healed.
Jesus understood agony. He Himself experienced agony. His was so intense, strong, forceful, it is beyond human comprehension.
It is in the Garden of Gethsemane when we really see how vulnerable Jesus is feeling as God made flesh, that although He, Jesus was fully God He was also fully man and He experienced pain and grief and anguish and temptations just like we do, yet He remained without sin. Perfect. Holy. The perfect sacrifice for us.
If you need or would like more information on just understanding the basics of a Christian life I recommend, getting a grip on the Basics, you can watch Why the Basics with Founding Pastor of Family Valley Church, Beth Jones. The link to the video can be found on our website:
heartfeltconversations.com or you can search for her YouTube channel and find her video Why the Basics? Basics | Why the Basics?
Tune in next week as I continue to share the most intimate, vulnerable and fragile time in my life as we continue to talk about Jehovah Rapha.
with that we will end today’s conversation with the Bread of Life, God’s Word -So then- Hebrews 4: 14-16 NLT
Since we have a great High Priest Who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Songs to inspire you
Never Walk Alone (Live at Team Night) - Hillsong Worship
Never Fail (Official Live Video) - Hillsong Young & Free
From the Inside Out - Hillsong Worship
Scriptures from this week's Podcast
Psalms 139:7
“where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your Presence?”
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
1 John 4:8
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Luke 5:31-32
“Healthy people don’t need a doctor-sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but to those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
Matthew 28:20
“And behold, I AM always with you, to the end of the age”
Exodus 15:26
I AM Jehovah Rapha. I AM the LORD your Physician
Isaiah 61:1
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed and commissioned me TO bring good news to the humble and afflicted: He has sent me to bind up (the wounds) of the brokenhearted, To proclaim release (from confinement and condemnation) to the physical and spiritual captives AND freedom to prisoners.
Matthew 21:14
The blind and the lame came to Him in the temple, and He healed them.
Hosea 4:6
My people are being destroyed because they don’t know Me.
Isaiah 46:9-10
“Remember the former things (which I did) from ages past; For I AM God, and there is no one else; I Am God, and there is no one like ME, Declaring the end and the result of the beginning.”
Revelation 22:12
“Behold, I (Jesus) am coming quickly, and MY reward is with Me, to give to each one according to the merit of his deeds (earthly works, faithfulness).
Revelation 22:13
I Am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End (the Eternal One)
John 3:17
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.
Hebrews 4: 14-16 NLT
Since we have a great High Priest Who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.
This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin.
So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.
There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Additional Resources
Prayer of Salvation
Jesus has given salvation, healing, and countless benefits to all who call upon His name. These benefits can be yours if you receive Him into your heart by saying this prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come to You admitting that I am a sinner. Right now, I choose to turn away from sin, and I ask You to cleanse me of all unrighteousness. I believe that Jesus rose again from the dead so that I may be justified and made righteous through faith in Him. I call upon the name of Jesus Christ to be the Savior and Lord of my life. Jesus, I choose to follow You, and I ask that You fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit. I declare right now that I am a born again, child of God. I am free from sin and full of the righteousness of God. I am saved in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This prayer and the comment above, were taken out of the book:
Secrets to Powerful Prayer - Discovering the Languages of the Heart
By Lynne Hammond and Patsy Cameneti
If you have just received Jesus as your Savior, please write Lynne Hammond Ministries at:
PO Box 29469
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55429-2946
Or, email one of the ministries listed on the Additional Resources Tab and let them know that you are a brand new christian and need some direction on the next steps for your new life in Christ.
Or email us here at Heartfelt Conversations with Diana and we will pass along your information for you.
Congratulations if you are a brand new Christian or if you have Returned Home! Welcome!!! Get in God’s Word and get it into you!
Diana’s Home Church:
Valley Family Church - Pastor’s Eric and Alexa Jones
www.valleyfamilychurch.org
Other recommended Jesus-centered churches who teach the True Word of God:
Elevation Church - Steven Furtick
https://elevationchurch.org/
Joseph Prince Ministries - Joseph Prince
https://www.josephprince.org/
Joyce Meyer Ministries
https://joycemeyer.org/